The Man Boobs Phenomenon

Pride is a human characteristic, and it's perfectly normal to be proud and feel that you're entitled to show off a bit. Consider, for example, a man with a new sports car; he takes it out for a spin as often as possible so that his friends (and even better, his enemies) can get a good, long look at him in all his glorious splendour. He fills up the tank with the best petrol available; hand washes and waxes the exterior until it gleams. He may even have a pet name for it. Whatever the source of pride, a man wants the world to know about it.

On the other hand, when a man is confronted with something that he's embarrassed by, such as driving an "unmanly" car, he will do everything he can to avoid being seen in it, taking circuitous and out-of-the-way routes, or even wearing a disguise of some sort. Whenever possible, he will put as much distance between himself and the offending object.

Unfortunately, when it comes to man-breasts or "moobs" (man boobs, in case you're not familiar with the jargon), it's impossible to distance yourself from them. They are right there, as plain as the nose on your face (at least, to you, they are). The unspoken (and, heretofore, unwritten) Law of Men's Body Parts: Big in the pants department -- Good. Big breasts -- Bad. Very, very bad.

Smiling Buddha statue notwithstanding, most men who sport an enviable set of "moobs" aren't quite so cheerful about their predicament. That, too, is perfectly understandable. Women have been dissatisfied with their breasts for ages -- they're too small, they're too big, they're too saggy, they're lopsided, they're this and they're that – the litany can be never ending.

But women are lucky for several reasons:

1) they can usually camouflage the problem with better fitting bras and inserts;

2) they can seek permanent remedy through readily available cosmetic surgery, and

3) they can complain aloud to their girlfriends and receive sympathy, support, advice and encouragement.

The truth is, the man who suffers with gynaecomastia, is generally very secretive about it, because he's beyond embarrassment – leaning toward mortification -- that he has breasts. Women are supposed to have breasts – they have a biological function (which varies, depending upon the gender of the individual you ask). Men do not need breasts.

Really, what good are breasts on a man? Isn't it bad enough that men have to suffer with male pattern baldness? Now, this, too? Someone has a warped sense of humour.