Reworking Your Online Dating Profile - Four Principles No Woman Should be Without

Copyright (c) 2010 Dirk Sayers

You've heard insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome? This is equally true in the case of your online dating/meeting profile. If no one is emailing you after viewing you're profile...or they're ignoring your emails when you contact them; it's time for change. Yesterday! A good place to start is with men and their opinion. If you're not writing for them, you're not done with your profile...really!

Which brings me to my first observation about your profile. If you've finished your profile but haven't run it past a guy to ask him if HE likes it... then you're really not finished writing your profile. If you don't have a "guy mentor" yet, get one! I know, I know. You're much more comfortable asking women for advice. Get over it. It isn't that the women you know who aren't sympathetic to your cause, or don't have information that's relevant. They do. It's just that their perspective won't be particularly helpful, if your audience is guys.

Seriously. Asking women you know what's wrong with your profile is like asking the cat why the dog isn't eating. It isn't that the cat doesn't have an opinion. It's just that the cat is well, a cat. However silly the analogy seems to you, I wish I had a nickel for every woman who writes with the opinions of other women in mind.

So what do you need to do to rev up your profile and improve your chances of achieving the desired outcome? Funny you should ask. I'm going to tell you. It's easier (and harder) than you think. Let's take a look at it from the perspective of men in the 21st Century. In order for you to get consistent responses based on your profile, men need to get favorable answers to the following questions; and pretty much in the order below.

1. Do I find you attractive? That's a convoluted question he won't be able to answer until you've met. But he'll have a good idea if you have several photos posted. (Not one; several...) Why several? Because just one photo suggests you went spelunking for the best you had and posted it...never mind how old it is. Post several; all different, all recent.

2. Will it "feel good" to be with you? (most of the time). If he's relationship-oriented, he really wants to know. In addition, if he has two brain cells to rub together, he also knows it won't always feel good. But he's okay with that if it does most of the time. You convey this in your profile essay. (The key here is to write enough...but not too much!)

3. Do I have what it takes to be "the one" as you are likely to define it? (His question to himself as he is reading your profile.) The answer lies in your essay and the factual portion of the profile, in the form of what you say you want. If he has doubts about his ability to measure up, he's likely to click next.

4. How badly do I want to find out more?" This really gets down to how comfortable your profile has made him with contacting you. Does the woman your profile represents "feel" approachable? If so, you're likely to hear from the ones that liked what you had to say. If not, your in box will remain a lonely place to be.

If the answers to one or more of the four questions we've looked at raise doubts in his mind, he'll probably move on without emailing you. If he likes his own answers to the questions, based on what he has read, you'll be hearing from him...tomorrow, probably. Don't make this harder than it seems and whatever you do, remember to keep it short: 16-20 lines plus or minus. Yeah, I know. It doesn't seem like much to summarize a whole life and the delightful you that you are. Suck it up, girl. Figure out what's most likely to resonate with him and feature that. You can tell him about fluffy later.

In a word...Yep! I said it was simple. I didn't say it would be easy. But if you're not getting answers to your emails or hits on your profile, look at the four elements I outlined above and then read your profile. Chances are you have overlooked one or more of the above...which is why you're not getting as many responses as you deserve. That's likely to be true, even if you're drop-dead, traffic-stopping gorgeous and all your photos make that very clear. It really is true, ladies. Keep the four questions above in mind and if it's not working for you now, consider revising your profile. Remember that more of the same won't get you more of what you want!