The Bride's Guide to Keeping Her Sanity

Copyright (c) 2010 Get Married

Smart advice for keeping your cool as your wedding day approaches from someone who's been there.

1) BREATHE AND RELAX

Let's work with the basics first: your body. Your body is managing a lot as you prepare to marry. The changes, your future possibilities and goals, can be uncomfortable for you. Breathe. Breathe in and out. Breathing nurtures your cells and helps you let go of the stress in the body.

Try this breathing technique for yourself. Take 5 breaths. Breathe in for the count of 5, hold for the count of 5, exhale and let go for the count of 5, rest and be still for the count of 5. No need to get obsessive about this. Taking a good 5 breaths this way can calm the nervous system, bring your concentration to the present moment, and help you relax.

Relaxing is a good thing! We think more clearly when we are relaxed, make better decisions and simply enjoy ourselves. So another tool is to move. Take a walk. Even 10 minutes of fresh air away from your desk can nourish you. Exercise. Go to the gym, ride your bike or treadmill, play tennis, swim, take a yoga or tai chi class. Play a song on your iPod and dance. A little exercise can go a long way for relaxing. Be good to your body. It is doing so much to help you through these times. Taking a bath, relaxing and resting will restore you in this period.

There's the phrase, "Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff." So breathe, relax and take care of yourself as you prepare for the wedding.

2) INTENTION

For me, intention is having one's mind, will and focus concentrated on a purpose of significance and importance. It is an inner state or attitude we hold regardless of the external outcomes or results. Intention is the process of holding the position of what you are wishing to experience as you live and move toward your goals.

As you handle all that is required for your wedding celebration, ask yourself this question, "What is my intention for my wedding?" Some intentions could be to have fun, to complete all the required tasks with ease and grace, to go with the flow and to cooperate with vendors, family members and soon to be in-laws. Remember the love you share with your spouse-to-be and why you are planning this celebration!

Take some time to clarify and determine what you really want to experience as you get ready for the big day. Write your intentions down on a card and keep them in a place where they are accessible to you. Review and recall your intentions daily and keep your focus on what you want as you prepare for your wedding.

I have found that by being more conscious of their intentions, many couples discover that they experience their wedding and marriage preparations as a fun ride - not a ride that is necessarily devoid of any ups and down, but a ride that is enjoyed with those they love. People see that the world and those in it want to support them in a fulfilling wedding.

3) GRATITUDE

With work responsibilities, family and wedding planning at the forefront of your mind, you may temporarily forget the gifts of the love you share and your motivation and reasons for marriage.

Gratitude is a way of accessing the blessings of the moment and the richness and abundance you have available right now. Use gratitude as a daily key to refocus on the good things in your life. Be grateful that you found someone you want to spend your life with. Be grateful you have friends and family to include in your celebration. Be grateful that things aren't worse. Be grateful you have energy to do what needs to be done. Be grateful you have fingers that work to answer all the e-mails and make the phone calls. Be grateful that you want to love someone in ways you have yet to do. Be grateful you can create a wedding that will acknowledge the beginning of this phase of your life together.

Take a minute each day to remember what you are grateful for, before you go to bed, when you eat your lunch or when you are being bothered with what is going on.

Rather than looking at the cup as half empty, gratitude helps us to see the cup as half full or even overflowing with clear, healthy water to drink when others may see none.

4) LOVE

Love opens your heart to another person and into the adventure of marriage. Love opens you to parts of yourself that you have yet to know. Love also opens you to experiences of pain and joy- challenging you again and again to give and receive, to support another and to allow another to support you in your dreams and goals. Love pushes us through boundaries, judgments and limitations that restrict us. Love pushes us to expand.

When the wedding preparations seem overwhelming to you, when the last thing in your mind is love, ask yourself, "What can I do to be more loving? How can I love right now?" You may be surprised by what you notice, observe and hear, and by what you might do to align yourself with love.

Have fun as you take these next steps of love and marriage. The celebration is about to begin. Congratulations on your marriage and your commitment to this path of loving.