And Baby Makes Three

So now you are a family. What a wonderful and tumultuous time of life! And why didn't anybody tell you how torn you would be by the decision to stay at home or return to the office? You may have decided before the baby came that of course you would return to work, but holding that precious darling can change minds, melt hearts and thaw rock hard resolutions in the space of a baby burp.

It isn't only about the money, although money is important, that's for sure. But if you love your job, go back to work. It may even cost you to go back into the workforce, but it's worth it-for you and the baby-to be doing what you love. Childcare is expensive, and juggling a child and a career is tough, but thousands, likely millions, of women (and men) do it every day. You can too.

See where you can cut back on expenses if you haven't already, so that the money crunch (and there's always a money crunch with a new baby no matter what your salary is) doesn't hit you too hard. Once you set up a budget, and really take a hard look at what are "wants" and not "needs" and cut back accordingly, you may find the money for daycare pops up in the most unexpected places.

Be sure you keep your partner on board with all the major decision-making. If you've decided you do want to stay at home, and your partner disagrees, make a budget for costing out the return to work. Be realistic. But when you make the stay-at-home comparison budget, consider adding in an at-home part-time job-which can cut costs big time, and make the stay-at-home choice pretty appealing. Then be sure to get the job, or work something out with your current employer. You may be surprised at how accommodating your boss may be to the idea.

And don't ask your mom. No matter how much you love your mom, now that she's a grandmother, chances are she won't be able to bear the idea of her little grand-darling being in a daycare (and will advise you accordingly). But unless she's ready to come and take over while you're at work, the decision to stay at home or return to the office, has got to be entirely your own.

The decision whether or not to stay at home or return to work is as personal as who you marry, or where you choose to live. No one can make the decision for you, so whatever you choose, make sure it's the right choice for you.