Asking For Help

Copyright (c) 2010 Christine Kloser

For years I struggle with asking for help. It seems to be a common thing among many entrepreneurs... the feeling that you have to "do it all." This feeling usually lies at the surface for us, because entrepreneurs are typically capable, confident, creative, "go getter" kind of people. We have a vision, a mission, a calling and a commitment to do what we need to do to achieve our goals in the world.

Yet, sometimes being capable can turn into overcompensation and drive home the feeling that we must do it all. When in reality, nothing could be further from the truth. I remember the first time I heard Loral Langemeier speak. She had come out to Los Angeles to talk at my one-day seminars for women entrepreneurs. One of the things she shared was that nobody is a "self-made" millionaire. She went on to say that every millionaire out there is a "team-made" millionaire... because they realized and utilized the value of having other people support them on their journey of success.

So, why is it so difficult to ask for help? For me, it's a rather long and complicated answer with lots of dynamics at play, but the bottom-line is that I viewed asking for help as a sign of weakness. Couple that with my other thought that nobody would be there for me anyway even if I did ask, and you get one overworked, overstressed, "all too important" wonder woman... who really can't do everything she thinks she can and still enjoy a high quality of life.

Thankfully, I've woken up to the gifts of asking for help. I think the turning point for me in asking for help was in 2008 when I called one of my book coaching/publishing "competitors" and asked her for a meeting to talk about working together. In the past I wouldn't have let myself do that, especially with someone who could be viewed as a direct "competitor." What if she said "no, thank you?" I would have been seen as weak (in my eyes).

But, she said "yes" and the gifts of joining in partnership with Lynne have been so abundant that I can't imagine what my publishing business (or my life) would look like had I never gathered the courage and strength to ask her if she wanted to work in partnership with me and help grow our business together.

Now, we've grown to the point where we have lots of exciting, new projects on the table and we've asked for and received tons of help with all of them. Literally, we have a team around us that allows Lynne and I to be in our brilliance and creativity while having all the help we need... where others do those things we don't do well or don't want to do.

Asking for help brings you freedom! It brings you peace of mind. And, it brings the knowingness that at the heart of every human being is the desire to offer help. Just think about how good you feel when someone asks you for something and you step up to help them. Whether it's the old woman at the grocery store who needs help reaching to the top shelf for an item, or a friend who is in crisis and needs a shoulder to cry on, to a marketing partner who you're happy to support, or a client who needs an extra nudge with a challenge they're going through.

Our hearts are abundant with the desire to be of service and help others. And, it's a two-way street. As much as your heart is ready, willing and eager to help other people... their hearts are ready willing and eager to help you! Remember, it's OK to need and want help, it's OK to ask for help and there are people who will be happy to help YOU... including me!