Are You Ready For Your Ideal Relationship

Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai

What does it take to be ready for a new relationship? Some people have a tendency to jump into a new relationship too soon wondering why it doesn't work out for them in the end. While others let the fear of intimacy take over and keep themselves single saying they are not ready. This article will outline three major points of what it takes to be ready and hopefully give you an idea of where you stand.

This is a good question, what does it take to be ready for a relationship? How do you know if you are ready? Chances are that if you meet someone you really like before you're ready for a commitment, your relationship will not work out. Most likely one of the two things will happen: you will either leave the relationship because you're not ready to commit or this person will leave you because she or he doesn't quite feel the same about you. In other words, you can't be fully available to anyone until you are ready, therefore you will most likely attract unavailable partners.

The good news is that you can prevent this from happening and you can create your ideal relationship by learning how to become emotionally available to yourself and therefore get yourself ready. To be ready for your next healthy loving relationship you need three things. One, you need to be at piece with all your feelings about all your past relationships. Two, you need to know what you want in your next relationship and finally, accept yourself as being good enough for the kind of person you wish to attract. Now lets get into more details about this.

How can you reach closure with all your previous relationships? I can tell you right now that the biggest blocks that will surely stop you from attracting your soul mate is still having strong feelings for someone in your past. Whether you are actually still in love with your ex or not, you may still have resentments, unresolved anger, guild or blame - any feelings, positive or negative will only indicate that you still have feelings. You may be able to attract someone new, but you will not be able to be fully available to this person. Getting closure doesn't have to involve contact with your ex. A closure is something that has to come from within you and all you need is yourself and your willingness to let go. More importantly, you need to forgive yourself and forgive your ex for what happened or did not happen.

Now that you have put your past behind you, let's look into your future. What kind of relationship do you wish to attract? Saying, "someone whom I would love, who would also love me," is not enough. You need to be more specific about what you need, what works well for you and what does not work with your personality. Most people think they know what they want when they see it, but it doesn't work this way. You have to know what you want first, then you will be able to see it. Until you know exactly what you want, you will be attracting emotionally unavailable men or women who will only meet your needs partially but not completely. Though it is important to be physically attracted to your mate, don't get too hung up on physical characteristics. You want to be open, not controlling.

Sometimes we have tendencies to diminish or limit ourselves when we talk about what we want because we don't believe we can have it. When it comes to love, the last thing you want to do is limit yourself. Love has no limits and neither should your ability to attract your ideal relationship. Don't settle for anything less than what you want or deserve.