4 Common Mistakes Managers Make When it Comes to Giving Feedback

Copyright (c) 2010 Shona Garner

What do you associate with the words "giving feedback"? You wouldn't be on your own if the first thoughts you had were things like: criticism; feeling uncomfortable; awkwardness and tricky conversations.

Is there also a link in your mind between giving feedback and underperformance in the workplace?

Last month's article gave you a structure for giving both positive and negative feedback to an individual or team.

However, you can follow any model you like for giving feedback (and there are a few out there!) – but if you and everyone in your staff think that feedback is all about criticism and negative stuff, then no model or training on how to give it is going to help you build a motivated team.

What do you really want? You want a team where:
-Your staff actively solicit and expect feedback about their performance.
-Your staff take ownership of, and responsibility for their performance and what they do to improve it.
-The culture is one which demonstrates on a daily basis the importance and value of feedback.

As with all things – knowing what we want, and knowing how to get there are often two different things! This article shares with you what I believe are the 4 biggest mistakes you can make as a manager, if you want to achieve those three goals above – and offers some suggestions for how, with just some minor tweaks to the way you do things, you could not only achieve those goals, but transform the performance of your team in the process.

The 4 biggest mistakes you can make when you're trying to build a great feedback culture

Mistake number 1: Reserve your feedback for when someone is underperforming.

For many managers, giving feedback is associated with having to tell someone they are not performing as you would like. For many cultures, giving positive feedback (praise) is almost something to be rationed.

Have you ever heard a manager say: "I shouldn't have to praise somebody for just doing their job.

That's what they're paid for"?

However, is this manager at risk of ignoring good, solid, reliable work; of assuming the only motivator for people is money and they take the view praise or recognition is reserved only for those who do more than their job. But I like this quote from one of the world's top writers and thinkers about bringing the best out in people; Aubrey Daniels, who says:

"If people are not told they are appreciated, they will assume the opposite."

How many wives have left their husbands after 25 years of marriage with the words, "you never appreciated me. You took me for granted"?

How many workers do you think have left their roles for the same reasons?

People NEED feedback – and they need feedback which is positive as well as negative. Recognise that your good, solid workers, day in, day out, leave you free to get on with other things, because you can trust them to perform consistently. They form a backbone which brings strength to your team, and to your overall results. Lose them; disenchant them, and you risk fragmenting the team and damaging working relationships.

Mistake number 2: Give more negative feedback than positive.

What's the ratio of praise to criticism in your team?

Not only do we need to build cultures which give both positive and negative feedback, we need to ensure we give more of the good stuff, than the negative.

Why?

Well – have you ever been at the receiving end of an overly critical teacher, lecturer, parent, partner, friend or boss? How did that make you feel?

My guess is you began to dislike the critic; you "tuned out" to the criticism, because you heard it so often; you felt upset, frustrated, or annoyed; you began to avoid the critic; you wouldn't hear a valid criticism any longer, and at its worst, you may have found yourself losing self confidence and self-esteem.

Study after study shows the ratio of positive to negative feedback should be at least 5:1 in favour of positive.

Now before you all start raising your hands in the air saying that's ridiculous, bear with me and check out the next big mistake! Meanwhile, remember this:

"If you give meaningful, sincere and positive feedback often enough, then constructive criticism is much easier to hear".

Mistake number 3: Make a big deal of giving feedback.

So you want to give feedback. Chances are, the most usual times you give it, are at appraisal times; when something's going wrong and someone is underperforming, or giving praise through big "rah-rah" events – such as "employee of the month" or in public meetings with great ceremony. But actually,

"The consequences that cause people to do their best every day, occur every day."

Sure – sometimes ceremonies or appraisals are appropriate times for feedback – but they're not the engine room which will drive motivation and great feedback cultures.

Feedback is NOT about making a big deal of something. It's about quiet, consistent observation of individual performance, and feeding back what you see in the moment, or as near to it as possible.

Research into the most effective leaders, managers and supervisors shows they feedback regularly while people are actually performing. To be able to do this, they spend more time in the work area.

Guess where the ineffective managers spend their time? Absolutely! In their offices.

Mistake number 4: Believe feedback is a one-way street.

A big one this!

Are you perfect? Doubt it! But a culture where feedback is accepted, trusted and valued, has to ensure it applies to everyone. Mix this mistake with only ever giving negative feedback and it's likely you'll face a double whammy of resentment and anger from your staff – and almost certainly a team of high staff turnover.

And actually, it's my belief that this is definitely one area where it starts at the top – with you and how you receive feedback.

Do you allow feedback upwards? (If you've ever had a boss who didn't want feedback then you'll know how frustrating this sometimes feels!) Do you actively solicit feedback about your managing?

If you'd love a team where people actually ask for feedback, take more individual responsibility for their performance and associate feedback with helpful emotions rather than unhelpful, then it starts by setting the example of how you want things to be. Start small – try asking how you can be a more effective support to a member of staff – and see what they come up with. Ask them what they think you do well, and what you might perhaps do more of, or less of. If you're planning a particular strategy, wherever possible, ask your staff for feedback on your plans; incorporate some of their ideas if possible, and check in at appropriate milestones to see if they have any further feedback.

It will take patience and persistence, particularly in a team where they have always had the controlling, critical boss, but once they see you genuinely value and expect feedback, they'll become more comfortable with the whole process, and ultimately, more likely to mirror those behaviours and attitudes, for the good of the team, and your performance!